From this week’s column: 

I took a taste of the dish and my gag reflex kicked in. It was bad. Real bad. The enticing smell was one big lie.

Nothing was as it should be. The apples had absorbed all of the vinaigrette dressing and were so bitter they were completely devoid of emotion. The mushrooms looked stoned and the onions, well, the onions were just not behaving nicely at all.