The JDN got a new, updated Web site last week which you can check out here. http://www.jdnews.com/

The new site unfortunately messed up some of the links to my columns and the link to the last post about Anna Nicole Smith. The Smith one is fixed now, the others they’re working on and hope to have fixed soon.

I wrote a column a couple of weeks ago about Amber and Crystal which a couple of people have asked me about. Apparently people *like* to read about my children, which is ridiculous because they’re really quit boring and neither kid is paying me for all the free publicity I’m giving them. That’s right, they’re getting movie deals, magazine covers and commercials all because I am making them sound soooo amazing and fun with my columns. Well, they’re not that fun. They cost a lot of money and they need constant attention. I mean, I know I spent probably a whole $20 on them in food last year and I had to talk to them AT LEAST once a month. Good Lord. What’s next? Taking care of them when they’re sick? Being some kind of role model in their lives?

Who has time for that? When would I do the important things in life like take my cats to kitty massage and name the earrings in my earring collection?

Here’s a little of the column and the link: http://www.jdnews.com/onset?id=325&template=article.html

If I gave Amber a chore, her first reaction was, “Let me finish what I’m working on first.” In fairness, Amber has always been a busy kid. She came out of the womb talking on a cell phone, painting her nails and reading “Glamour” magazine. She’s parlayed her ability to multitask into a way to work three jobs, keep a full academic course load and still find time to volunteer while in college.But back in her early teens, when I’d issue a request like “vacuum the living room,” she’d always be in the middle of something she needed to finish right then - and that something would seem far more important than whatever I was asking her to do:

Me: Ok. Um … as soon as you get done with that, could you clean the bathroom?