No snow may have me caroling the blues

TIMMI TOLER
DAILY NEWS STAFF
My week has ended in big question marks, which is not a good thing for a reporter or a writer or for one who reportedly writes, like me.

I have been searching for the answers to a couple of questions. The first is how to make snow at home, or homemade snow, whichever is easier.

Among the glorious and storied jobs I have here at The Daily News like blogging, reporting and polishing Cyndi Brown’s tiara, I also edit our Sunday teen page called Listen Up!

A couple of weeks ago, the staff wanted to do a story about the fact that we never get snow around these parts, ever. Never. Like it’s been years. We thought it would be cool to figure out how kids could make their own snow for times when they want snow but Mother Nature will not oblige.

I thought it was a great idea for a story. Something fun. We could make “snow” and get one of the local science or chemistry teachers to explain the technical aspect of how to make it. We could have some fun with the whole thing. And then when kids in our community wanted snow, they, thanks to all that delicious reading they did with Listen Up!, could just make their own.

But - short of shaving a few ice cubes - we haven’t been able to find a way to make fake snow or a person who will help us. It’s been a real head-scratcher.

We searched the mighty Internet and found a site that claimed it could teach us how to “build a simple home-grown snow gun” but then it told us to gather up these “handy” items: an air compressor, a pneumatic hose, adapters and Teflon pipe tape. This was way more advanced than what we were thinking which was more along the lines of baking soda, plaster and maybe a sprinkler or two.

We did find something called “Insta-snow” which is product made of polymer. You add water and then you get snow, but it’s almost $25 a bag and short of having one of my staff members sell a kidney, I don’t know think we’ll have the bucks to try it.

So, we’re sans the faux snow.

Then, at another meeting for another job I do here, which sometimes includes interviewing and writing and fetching Robert Holland’s slippers, the Neighbors staff and I talked about doing a story on Christmas caroling - as in, do people even do that anymore?

I used to carol when I was in high school. Our church hauled a group of us around every Christmas to visit neighborhoods. We’d sing, give out candy canes and drink hot chocolate. It was a lot of fun.

I can’t remember when I last saw a Christmas caroler. It’s been a long time. All week the Neighbors’ staff has been looking for carolers. Are they out there? Do they still sing? Do they drink the chocolate that is hot? And most importantly, will they give me a candy cane?

We have uncovered nary a caroler. The holiday crooners are naught. And the Neighbors staff is bummed along with my Listen Up! staff, which is still sad about fake snow.

All this has seriously zapped my holiday spirit. I mean, where are we headed as a nation if we can’t find one lousy caroler or one tiny fake flake? Did we not land on the moon? Did we not just make Helio Castroneves the “Dancing With The Stars” champion? Are we not the America I think we are?

So, since invention is the mother of necessity or mothers are necessary inventors or whatever the saying, I am going to improvise.

I do not have fake snow, but I do have lots of discarded paper laying around 724 Bell Fork Road. I can make plenty of fake snow flakes. I have scissors! I have white spray paint! I have nothing to do during the month of December!

And, I don’t have any “carolers,” but I do have a Carole Moore, who writes a column for our Sunday paper. If push comes to shove, I will dress her up in an elf costume, stand her outside of someone’s house and make her sing “Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer.”

I will find a story. I will get rid of these blasted question marks. I will replenish my holiday spirit.

And knowing Carole? There probably will be a little pushing and shoving. And one of us just might end up with a red nose of our own.

Most likely it’ll be the one who reportedly writes.

Timmi Toler is a staff writer at The Daily News who would like to interview a real, live Christmas caroler or discuss counterfeit flurries with someone who knows about such things. Contact her at 910-219-8458 or ttoler@freedomenc.com or visit timmitoler.com.