Grocery store driving takes a step forward
March 28, 2008 - 1:00AM
TIMMI TOLER
DAILY NEWS STAFF
They corner like a dream.My regular grocery store is being remodeled, and one of the new additions is these smaller, easy-to-handle grocery carts. They have two baskets - one on the bottom and one on the top. It sort of looks like they took a regular cart, cut it in half and stacked one part on top of the other. I don’t know who invented these things, but whoever she is, she deserves a medal and a tiara. And, maybe, a new pair of designer shoes.

These compact carts are a joy to operate. They’re perfect for women like me who have spent countless hours wreaking havoc with the regular-sized ones. I have run into aisles of food, piles of tissue and miles of folk with those clunky, hard to maneuver monstrosities.I don’t know why I can’t steer them, but I can’t.I’m always bumping someone, clipping the edge of something, leaving a dent somewhere or veering into the path of an oncoming shopper. I’ll apologize more in one trip to the gro-cery store than I ever did in either of my marriages - and I had a lot to be sorry about, trust me.It has become such a problem that people do not like to be seen with me in stores. Relatives pretend they don’t know me. My mother will see me in the bread aisle and run the other way. Even my own children scatter the second we enter the building.

They learned at an early age to find a “grocery store mommy” during shopping trips. They’d hunt the aisles for some other mother - a total stranger - and shop with her because she wasn’t careening into the deli display. She wasn’t pushing over Pop Tarts. She knew how to navigate the produce department. When it was time to go home, my daughters discreetly met me at the checkout and followed me to the car, but even then, they wore baseball caps and dark sunglasses.I can’t blame them. My shopping cart driving is so bad, I don’t even like to shop with me.When I was younger, I made a trip to the A&P in my hometown all by myself, and I’ve been hell on wheels ever since. Back then, groceries actually had price tags and you got “rang up” at the register because that’s what it did - it rang. It didn’t scan anything or beep.

It just sat there and waited for the cashier who would greet you, pick up your item, look at the price, ask how your mama was, then push and plunk the right buttons on the register. It would respond with this fantastic swish and ring sound.Although, on my first shopping excursion alone, instead of asking about my mama, the cashier told me I should probably have her come with me from now on to push the cart.The A&P used to be a collection point for recycling glass bottles, which is what soda came in before plastic. They’d stack the bottles in wooden crates near the front of the store.

I had to go by that area to get to the cash register. Back then, shopping carts were about 12 feet long, 20 feet wide, had 16 wheels, no traction and were made completely of steel and concrete. Or at least they felt that way.I was steering the cart (and I use that term loosely) and, needless to say, had an impromptu meeting with a stack of RC Cola bottles. It was an ugly meeting with much fallout. It went down as one of the worst shop-ping cart crashes in A&P history. It made the front page of our local paper.It also sealed my fate when it came to driving those big, boxy cages with wheels, and I haven’t been able to get the hang of it ever since. Until now.Now, someone, somewhere has created these lovely, petite buggies specially designed for the steering impaired. I like them because they go where I want them to go. They are not heavy, and I can see where I am go-ing before my cart gets there, which is very important.I also like them because the baskets are big but they don’t feel big.

They let me get the exact perfect amount of what I need to buy, which makes me a happy shopper.The fact that I can successfully drive these new carts is going to make other shoppers happy as well. No lon-ger will I run into them. No longer will my family say, “Timmi who?” when they see me in the frozen food section. No more fake grocery store moms for my children.It’s enough to make me want to shop in a tiara and a new pair of designer shoes.

Timmi Toler is a staff writer at The Daily News who misses things that make the swish and ring sound. Contact her at 910-219-8458, ttoler@freedomenc.com or visit her blog at timmitoler.com.