We shall call this post “ODD OBJECTS THAT BRING ME JOY” even though I actually called the post something different altogether. If I find enough odd objects, I might start a new category. If I find enough time to post on a regular basis, again, ever, that is.

I have had two of these things in my life for about a month now and they have made me very happy:

They are retractable clothes lines and I have one attached to the outside of my house (on the back) and one inside in my bedroom. You can extend it and use it to hang your mentionables and unmentionables that need drying. Then, it neatly rolls up so no one is the wiser. Clothes line? What clothes line?

I got them from Walmart. They were like 6 bucks each or something. I like to hang clothes out to dry outside as much as possible. There is something unique to the smell of clothes that have been hung outside to dry. My secret theory is that it’s sunshine. Somehow the sun gets trapped in the clothes when they’re drying and it stays there. Then, when you go to put them on or use them, the sun comes back out and makes you feel better. Laugh if you want, but this is what happens. You’re just embarrassed that you didn’t figure it out before I did. That is because my brain is much larger than yours. It is also why you will always wear smaller hats.

In addition to posting about odd objects that bring me joy, I want so badly to post about over-confident blowholes who act like jerks in public. But I can’t because it would not be the Christian thing to do and I’d probably get in trouble. But let me just say that I was recently in a situation - not at my job - and listened to two people ramble on about something they claim to know so much about and really enjoyed making the rest of the people in the room feel inadequate. Yet when I researched their material and their work, I found errors in their info and much of the information out of date. I really don’t care for jerks. But I particularly don’t care for jerks who like to make others feel bad. I think their brains must be very, very small indeed.

So, to recap, if there is a overconfident jerk making you feel bad, please always question what the overconfident jerk is claiming to know. Do your own research. If you need help, e-mail me and I will help you. Second, hang your clothes outside on the retractable clothesline. The hidden sunshine will help you feel better when faced with Meany Jerk McMeanpants and who knows? One of the sun’s rays, trapped in your blouse, might come out and poke him in the eye.

When that happens, please let me know. We shall post it under “ODD OBJECTS THAT BRING ME JOY.”